There are amenities in the world of resorts I have learned to be skeptical about over the years: spa, gym, trainer. Often, the resorts that tout these amenities come up short. I’ll also admit that my standards are high. As a long time endurance athlete, I have put my body through the wringer and have established a circle of talented fitness coaches, experts and wellness providers here in San Diego. So, I save the spa treatments and fitness activities for when I’m home.
My skepticism met it’s match at the BodyHoliday in St. Lucia.
BodyHoliday is unlike any other resort. It’s a special place evidenced by the fact that they have a 70% return rate. It’s why people stay for ten days on average. It’s why it is hugely popular with solo travelers who instantly seem to find their tribe while there. It’s why it is not uncommon to see staff dining with guests. It’s why BodyHoliday’s guests are the happiest, friendliest resort guests I have ever encountered.
Passing through the property feels like what I imagine walking through Utopia would feel like. A warm ocean breeze, perfectly turquoise Caribbean Sea, the gentle rustle of palm trees and a lot of really happy people. And how could they not be happy? They have an endless number of options to be active (or not), they have their choice of fantastic food and drink, they get to enjoy a spa treatment DAILY, and they are around like-minded people all sharing a slice of paradise.
I want to describe the brilliant concept before I tell you about my stay. Typically, I write about the property in detail, and not that this property is undeserving (especially after it’s expansive renovations), but I will mostly write about BodyHoliday’s unique concept and the fantastic activities and amenities that create your overall experience.
The BodyHoliday is an all-inclusive wellness retreat. It has invested heavily in top of the line everything: therapists, trainers, equipment, facilities, food and beverage, and recent sweeping renovations (that follow sweeping renovations in ). As another guest said, “they do not cut any corners here.” On average, you have a choice of approximately 40 daily classes/activities in which to participate. They range from a morning run, a beachfront workout, archery, sailing, meditation, yoga or, nothing at all. The majority of these are included in your stay. The other major perk included in your stay is a minute spa treatment per day, per guest. This is the ultimate in wellness.
There are many experiences to be had at BodyHoliday: anti-aging, mindfulness and fitness to name a few. I’m going to tell you about my experience that was custom designed by the team at BodyHoliday. Initially, this was supposed to be a recovery program intended to repair my body after competing in what was supposed to be my fifth Ironman. However, I couldn’t compete in that Ironman due to a knee injury. The one silver lining in that let down is that my body was fresh and I was able to enjoy a few more activities and do a few things I had never done before. The plan they created for me was based on a pre-arrival form I completed a week before our stay. Once my husband and I arrived on property, we were handed an agenda that outlined all our activities and treatments for the week.
On our first morning, I participated in a “quadrathlon” with three other guests. This was an epic adventure of mountain biking, running, rappelling and kayaking. Our group met first thing in the morning where Tevin, our fearless leader (and professional volleyball player), fit us on our mountain bikes and led us to the trails.
I spend a lot of time on my triathlon bike. I haven’t been on a mountain bike since when my husband “surprised” me by signing us up for a mile mountain bike race. On this lovely Caribbean morning, you would have thought this was my first time on a bike. I grazed a cactus, ran into a bush, rode my brakes on every downhill and dropped my chain. It was embarrassing. Everyone else was phenomenal and the course was gorgeous, leaving the Caribbean side for the Atlantic, climbing and descending, cruising across empty beaches and then ending at Pigeon Island, where we started our run.
Our run was a quick 4k that started with an out-and-back and ended with a steep uphill to our rappelling/abseiling spot.
At the top of the hill, a car was waiting for us where we could leave our bags and grab a cold bottle of water. We were outfitted in our rappelling gear, instructed how to move our feet and handle the rope, and one by one we rapelled down the foot cliff as guides at the top and bottom assisted and guided us. This was a first for all of us! We climbed back up the hill and walked down to the beach on the other side where our kayaks were waiting.
I was expecting your typical beach resort plastic leisure kayak. That was not the case. These were light, aerodynamic kayaks meant to zip through the ocean water. We received instructions on how to operate them, waited for our fearless leader (Tevin) and off we went. It was a windy afternoon which made for some chop, (super fun) swells and more adventure to add to our tales. The program said the kayak portion is around 3k. My inability to hold a direct line made for some bonus distance before I eventually arrived at our finish on BodyHoliday’s beach.
The quadrathlon was the perfect mix of fun and adventure. I was pleasantly surprised by how challenging and rewarding it was. The four of us who did it ranged in athletic ability and we all finished with a smile on our faces, a sense of accomplishment and a fresh chilled coconut.
I had just enough time to have lunch at the deli with Eddie and a shower before heading over to the spa for the first treatment of our stay. Tendel, BodyHoliday’s “healing guru” gave me a true deep tissue massage that was much needed after the quadrathlon and the long travel day the day before.
The next day was busy and started with a personal training session in the morning. Julian, Commonwealth Gold Medalist and Caribbean middle weight Body Building Champion, immediately noticed my jagged gait from my knee injury, so we focused on exercises to help me heal, correct my knee issues and get stronger. I loved the movements and exercises we did! And we did something else that was interesting and that has stuck with me: we worked on my posture.
After my training session, I had a hydrating facial that was also very needed after traveling. I was scheduled for a brightening scrub, but was a little sun-burnt, so we changed it on the spot. After my facial, I made my way down to the beach area to read a bit, swim in the warm Caribbean Sea and have lunch before heading to my next massage. I told you, it was busy.
This day’s massage was (another) new experience for me. The minute treatment was a four hand, Synchronized Abhyanga that started with a foot cleansing in the Ayurvedic Temple. From there, I moved into a beautiful treatment room where my synchronized massage began. This massage technique has been around for years and includes a combination of specialized herbal oils and has an abundance of health benefits. You are placed in four different positions, coated in warm oil, and massaged with synchronized, purposeful movements.
I struggle with insomnia. However, between full, active days, soothing body treatments, clean food and the healing properties of the sea, I slept like never before while at BodyHoliday.
The property is huge. There are rooms and several villas tucked into the hillside. There are three pools, five restaurants and a “deli” where you can order healthy snacks, fresh juice and smoothies.
The beach is what Caribbean dreams are made of. There are water hammocks, beach hammocks, and enough sun loungers for every guest. The loungers come with a little red flag to call for help (cocktails & snacks) in an “emergency”.
The wellness center is the hub of the property and has a certain buzz about it as people are coming and going to their treatments and classes. Tucked into the hillside, it features 33 treatment rooms, a pool, a group fitness room, the Ayurvedic Temple and a state-of-the-art gym with equipment that rivals the best gyms in San Diego. No other resort gym comes close.
Some rooms were part of the most recent renovation and others were renovated in We stayed in a luxury ocean front suite. It had a king size bed, a balcony overlooking the water and a large, modern bathroom that featured a huge soaking tub.
It was the perfect retreat at the end of the day and the prime location for our champagne sunsets.
There are five restaurants and three bars on property equipped with a culinary team of chefs, mixologists and sommeliers. And, all are experienced in handling dietary needs and requests.
• Cariblue, the main restaurant has a little bit of everything for lunch and dinner.
• Cariblue Windows is where you can find the expansive breakfast buffet and, on certain evenings, features themed dinners. We enjoyed the French themed dinner and it was my favorite meal of our stay.
• We also enjoyed the deli for a light lunch and several smoothie offerings.
• The Clubhouse offers a great lunch buffet, casual dinner and seemed to be the gathering spot for sunset and pre-dinner cocktails.
• On our last evening, we dined at Tao, which has been voted by Condé Nast Traveler magazine as one of the world’s 60 Hottest Tables and is an annual AAA Diamond Award winner since March Both deserving recognitions.
• We were unable to dine at I-Tal, but it looks like a beautiful dining experience. Guests select ingredients from the organic garden and prepare clean, Rastafarian meals with the resort’s chefs.
I could write an entire separate post on BodyHoliday’s restaurants and have no doubt that the selection and quality of food and wine play their part in guests wanting to stay as long as they do and return as often as they do.
There is also a nice selection of evening entertainment, with the Piano Bar being the most popular of them all. I’d go as far as to say the Piano Bar is legendary. We could never stay up quite late enough (past ) to enjoy it but always heard about the sing-alongs (and solos) the next day.
As people who steer clear of all things all-inclusive, we left BodyHoliday completely perplexed by how much we enjoyed it and our desire to return. I now understand why a woman we met was there for her tenth year in a row. Or, why there is gentleman who spends thirty days at a time there. Whether you’re looking for a romantic getaway to reconnect with your partner, a celebratory girl’s trip or a solo wellness retreat, BodyHoliday is the perfect spot for you.
Have questions about our stay? Comment below or send me a message.
You can discover more about BodyHoliday here.
Fuck you to these little fluffy chicken things. My 4 year old got given one by a friend at his Kindy, and lets just say it caused all sorts of drama at Chateau Farks over the past couple of days.
My 6 year old decided it needed to be hers. Like, immediately. And shes smart, she takes after her mother, so shes exceptionally bright. ????
She started negotiating with him to get this chick and make it hers. She tried all sorts of tactics to get him to release the cute little yellow bundle of fluff, but he wasnt having any of it.
OH. MY. CHRIST. Did we have a meltdown.
There were tears, there was screaming, there was stuff being chucked at me and doors being slammed. I couldnt believe it. Over a flipping chicken.
I decided I would play the long game. I ignored the drastic behaviour and completely blanked her until she eventually came to her 6 year old senses and kinda forgot about the little creature and got on with her evening.
Until this morning.
Her brother had relinquished the little chick and she was dancing with glee for a good half an hour, until he decided he wanted it back.
HOLY HELL. I WANTED TO DIE.
Does anyone else want to drown themselves in a bucket because of the noise from multiple kids first thing in the morning? I mean, youve only just had your morning cuppa and its World War III.
Its too loud, its too grating, and its all I can do to stop putting them both on gumtree for a bargain.
Easter can go and suck a big fat bag of dicks. And so can the chicks. Try explaining to a hysterical and emotional end-of-term 6 year old that losing your shit over a bit of fucking fluff is not really a good use of your time.
GIVE ME STRENGTH. 6 going on And Im screwed.
THE END
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What is it that you seek? What frees your soul and quiets your mind? For me, it’s proximity to nature. As removed from society and its expectations and distractions as I can possibly be. The only sounds are from the elements and creatures of nature. This is the travel that makes me happiest. When each breath becomes fuller; my body unwound.
Secret Bay is a multi-faceted love story: one between people and between the land. Truly. Its inception, a sketch by famed architect, Fruto Vivas, given as a wedding gift to his daughter and son-in-law that became the couples’ private residence and eventually blossomed into six eco-luxury villas designed so others could discover beautiful Dominica.
Now, imagine that love story literally being ripped apart on a single night that many Dominicans will tell you seemed to span two nights. The endless downpour of rain and thrashing winds that was one of the most catastrophic hurricanes on record: Maria. However, like the people of Dominica, love is resilient and unconquerable. And so, Secret Bay began to rebuild.
As some of the first guests to stay at Secret Bay after their year long closure, we were fortunate to experience the re-birth of its love story.
How do you convey a feeling? That’s really what the Secret Bay experience is about: how it makes you feel. It’s an experience with a unique intimacy that extends through every aspect: how you are welcomed, how you are cared for, the pleasure from the food and excitement of new flavors, the comfort and intimacy of the villas, the soothing envelopment of nature.
Secret Bay comprises just six villas that dot rugged cliffs over the Caribbean Sea. Although they are each a little different in layout and size, they all contain the same elements that make the villas so special. No one could describe them better than Mr. Vivas, “For me they are all the same: structures linked to the landscape, liberated from the ground, with a design that embraces the cultural patterns of the island.”
Our villa, Ylang Ylang II, was essentially a sq. ft. tree house for grown-ups. Upon entering through the villa’s private gate, a long pathway leads you through lush, fragrant foliage, past your outdoor shower, to the first of two balconies. This balcony has a barbecue and a perfectly positioned, cushy hammock.
The second balcony is on the main floor. This large, open air area has a sitting area, a dining area and a full modern kitchen, all facing the surrounding trees and ocean.
For us, the kitchen was a big part of what made these villas so special. They come pre-stocked, based on the pre-arrival form we completed, and had everything we needed. We could cook our own snacks and meals (if we wanted) and make our own drinks and enjoy it all without ever leaving the villa and interrupting our state of serenity.
The bedroom opens up to this area through floor-to-ceiling, folding glass doors. The bedroom has a king bed and a shower and separate soaking tub. There is also a television (that we never turned on).
From the bedroom, a glass door leads you to a private sundeck and the most lovely private plunge pool.
Although designed to help you connect with nature, each villa comes with a few modern luxuries intended to help the Secret Bay team better serve you, provide you with the conveniences of home and reduce impact on the environment. You are provided an iPhone so you can call your villa attendant or anyone in the office in case you need anything. Each villa also has a Sonos speaker so you can enjoy the music of your choice, an Apple T.V. and a Kindle that is pre-loaded with the newspaper of your choice.
The element that makes the villas the most special: a villa attendant. And for us, that was Jess. Jess greeted us in our villa upon arrival, showed us the villa amenities and made us any reservations we needed. The next morning, she came to the villa and cooked us the breakfast of our choice.
On our second evening, Jess delivered dinner to our villa and set up a lovely dining experience for us. She took complete care of us – from cooking our meals to cleaning up the villa each day and after every meal. She patiently answered my husband’s questions about Secret Bay, hurricane Maria and Dominica. Jess had an aura of calm about her that filled a room whenever she entered. She was delightful.
Before arriving, we completed a pre-arrival form where we selected items to be stocked in our villa…snacks, beer, wine, sunscreen, the newspaper of our choice. There were a lot of local items to choose from that we were really excited about trying. However, the team at Secret Bay will do whatever it takes to make sure that you have everything that you want and need.
After hurricane Maria, Secret Bay’s founder stood inside a villa, Zing Zing, that had its roof ripped off during the hurricane. There, beneath an open sky, he came up with the concept for the property’s first dine-in restaurant. And, as with the rest of the property, the restaurant is unique in so many ways.
Zing Zing is a small, open air restaurant that is simple, yet elegant. It features an open kitchen and the dining tables overlook the sea. The meals are at the chef’s whim and guests are in for a treat from start to finish.
Have you ever sat down for dinner and had the chef greet you with a glass of champagne and then describe to you, with great affection, the meal he and his team prepared for the evening? And, with each dish, tells you it’s story: why he chose it, where it came from, why its ingredients are special?
The ingredients at Zing Zing are as fresh as they come. If they are not from the gardens on the property or the sea right in front of you, they are from elsewhere on the island and they are what’s available on that day. And the flavors and dishes are phenomenal!
Through locally sourced everything and a dedication to Dominican tradition, Chef Grant’s kitchen connects guests with the earth and to Dominica.
If you prefer, you can have all of your meals in your villa. Your villa attendant will make you just about anything you can imagine for breakfast and will bring you lunch and dinner from Chef Grant’s kitchen. All you have to do is choose your protein (or vegetable) and the rest is taken care of. The in-villa dining experience is lovely and the food is delicious.
The property is connected by pathways and engulfed by trees, flowers, lemongrass, bay leaves, multiple types of citrus and avocados. The lush vegetation and the large areas on which each villa sits create a very private setting.
There are two beaches: Tibay and Secret. One accessible from the main property and one accessible by a kayak you can pick up from the water sports bungalow on property.
From the deck perched over Secret Beach you can enjoy the sunset. A new yoga pavilion and Gommier spa overlook the river and, of course, beautiful Zing Zing has sweeping views of the Caribbean Sea.
With only six villas, you are ensured privacy everywhere on property.
Secret Bay is a remarkable place that is an extension of a remarkable island. It is good for the soul. A place where you can truly relax because of, not only the environment at Secret Bay, but how you are so cared for by the Secret Bay team. Do something good for you: reconnect with yourself, with someone special. Get lost at Secret Bay.
Discover more of Secret Bay here.
Visit my Instagram highlights for behind the scenes and a tour of Ylang Ylang II here.
The first thing you should know about Dominica is that it is not the Dominican Republic.
Dominica is wild, raw, beautiful and still quite undiscovered. It is the most lush place I have ever visited. There are waterfalls, lakes, rivers, mountains, rainforests, hot springs and, of course, beaches. We seemed to have each place we visited to ourselves. It is mountainous: if you are not going up, you are going down. The people are kind, open and resilient. Their glasses are half-full. And, they love their island, appreciate what they have and they work hard to preserve it.
The media coverage of Hurricane Maria in America was mostly about its impact on Puerto Rico. To hear Dominican’s stories of that night is incredible. Nothing on that island wasn’t touched by Maria. But, Dominica is ready for you! Go. Be adventurous. Explore. Give your mind, body and soul a breather. Connect with the land.
Visit my Instagram highlights from Dominica here.
Hi friends! Hope your week is off to a great start! We have some lovely inspiration for you today from design team member, Jessy. She is using the new and exclusive project pads from Joann Stores for her bible journaling! Read on for all the details & find links to the products at the end of the post!
Whenever I get to journal in my bible, it is something that I love to invest my time on! And Im so glad that I could use these new beautiful project pads from the Flourish & Sunny Days collection. With the verse Romans in mind, I took my journaling bible out and started to create a page out of the verse. Choosing a verse first certainly helps to speed things up and also keeps me focused on what I want to create.
Thank you for letting me share this page from my bible journal! Hope you have a wonderful crafting time journaling in your bible too! xoxo Jessy
Levi Brackman (born ) is a Judaic scholar, rabbi, teacher, writer and religious leader who has been active in both England and the United States and whose writings are featured regularly in Jewish publications internationally and on the Internet.
Upbringing and Education
A native of London, Brackman studied at Yeshivot in Israel, America and Canada and has taught classes in Halacha, Talmud, prayer and Jewish mysticism at Yeshivat Hadar Hatorah in New York and at the Mayanot Institute of Jewish Studies in Jerusalem. He received rabbinical ordination from Rabbi Zalman Nechemia Goldberg and Rabbi Mordechai Ashkenazi of the Tzemach Tzedek rabbinical college in the Old City of Jerusalem and has a graduate degree from University College London.
Levi Brackman comes from a family of seven boys and two girls, including brothers Rabbi Yossi Brackman the director of the Chabad Jewish Center at the University of Chicago and Rabbi Eli Brackman director of Chabad Society and The David Slager Jewish Student Centre both at Oxford University, UK.
Career
In January , Brackman was appointed to the position of senior rabbi at the Enfield & Winchmore Hill Synagogue where he become known for his inspiring sermons, thought-provoking articles, lively and insightful lectures, and effective life and marriage counseling. He no longer holds that position.
Brackman is founding member and executive director of The Movement for a Tolerant World, an organization that offers young people in Asia, the Middle East and other parts of the globe, a positive and tolerant ideology that provides them with the opportunity to make real and positive changes in their community and the world.
In August , Brackman started a Jewish outreach and cultural organization entitled Judaism in the Foothills, which serves the Foothill communities in the western part of the Denver, Colorado metropolitan area. Brackman is the executive director of Judaism in the Foothills.
Publications and Works
Brackman's weekly column, which is distributed over the Internet to thousands globally, is also published on Israeli daily Yedioth Achronoth's English-language website "eunic-brussels.eu". His writings, which cover pertinent social and political issues of the day, have been published on many other popular websites such as "eunic-brussels.eu", "eunic-brussels.eu", "eunic-brussels.eu", "eunic-brussels.eu", "eunic-brussels.eu" and "eunic-brussels.eu", among others. They can also be found on his website.
Brackman’s writings have been published in, among others, The Denver Post, The Intermountain Jewish News (Colorado), Torah Studies (New York), Etehaad (California), and The Canyon Courier. They have also appeared in the Australian Jewish News and in the UK, in The Jewish Chronicle and Hamodia. He has also appeared on TV and his work has been featured in newspapers both in the USA and in the UK. In addition Brackman is often quoted as an expert in major Jewish publications such as The Jewish Post, The Jewish Chronicle, The Jewish Journalamongst others.
Books
Brackman is co-author of Jewish Wisdom for Business Success: Lesson from the Torah and Other Ancient Texts (AMACOM/American Management Association, ). The book uses some of the world's greatest writings-the Torah and other Jewish sacred texts-to achieve incredible business results
Adjusting to civilian life was difficult, so I started weight training and quite soon after that I signed up for my first Strongman contest. After that first contest, I was hooked! I loved everything about Strongman from training to competing. I was competing in competitions all across the U.K. at a good level, qualifying for Britain’s Strongest Man in my federation! However, in I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis! I’ve had a number of symptoms from spasms to mobility issues to hand issues. I have Secondary Progressive MS meaning my MS never gets better just progressively worse. I have multiple permanent scars on my spine due to previous attacks. I now suffer from mobility issues meaning I need to use a wheelchair or other mobility aids. This was a huge blow to me, I didn’t know what to think because MS is called a snowflake disability and no 2 cases are the same! All I knew was I wouldn’t be able to compete in the competitions that I lovedor so I thought!!
LOS ANGELES
July 19,
STRANGER: Malachi Marx
LOCATION: Los Angeles, California
THEME: An afternoon with a gay for pay porn actor/escort
Caution: This interview contains explicit sexual language
“Im not gay and I dont like pornography.”
Not the words youd expect from someone who has made thousands of dollars from performing in gay porn videos and escorting with a mostly male clientele, often with sex involved. But its exactly how Malachi Marx (not his real name) describes his career being gay for pay.
Malachi, 25, doesnt necessarily look at gay porn as a bad thing; rather, he sees it as work. Hard work that he sometimes struggles to get through, but work nonetheless. His primary focus appears to be on using his career in the sex industry as a means to providing a solid future for his female partner and children.
I knew nothing about the gay for pay industry so wanted to find out more, and Malachi agreed to an interview while I was in California. Wed planned on meeting at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant for dinner, but at the last minute Malachi suggested lunch at his place, where he said he could talk more freely. After a short train ride, I was at our arranged meeting spot and he picked me up from the station. Before starting the interview we swung by a delicatessen to pick up some lunch. The site is called Dining With Strangers, after all. We got panini, mine with pesto chicken and Malachis a turkey artichoke concoction. With something to sate my never-ending appetite, it was off to the interview.
When we first arrived at our place to eat and talk, I met Malachis female partner (I neglected to ask whether they were just dating or married), tending to one of their young children, so I refrained from asking any porn or escorting questions while I said my hello to the Marx family. Malachi and I had our lunch while we chatted with his partner.
The chicken pesto panino was delicious, tender cuts of meat with a heart attack-inducing amount of mozzarella cheese and an excellent pesto to finish it off. I had some fruit on the side to try and provide something healthy to counteract the massive panini. Great stuff.
Malachi similarly enjoyed his turkey artichoke panini with a pesto salad. I refrained from snatching a taste of his food. But his son got to try some of his dads panino, and seemed to enjoy it.
The words “doting father” might sound trite, but they could easily be used to describe the way Malachi interacts with his son; very playful, keeping a watchful eye on the kid as he wandered around. Similarly, hes very affectionate with his partner. Im not a huge fan of public displays of affection, but I can say their relationship seemed natural, full of humor, and unforced.
But Malachis partner wasnt going to stick around for the interview. By design, the couple keep the world of gay porn and escorting separate from their home life. She left to take their child off to play, and I was able to start the tape recorder.
Even though the two dont talk about his current career, Malachis partner and her first pregnancy is the reason he started doing adult videos for the gay porn website Randy Blue. But escorting came first, a world in which people pay for companionship with typically very attractive men or women, with sex considered by mutual consent and not included in the price of an escort a legal loophole making it a quasi-legal profession. It was primarily crippling debt that pushed him into that industry.
“I was struggling to get above water while waiting tables and doing small time modeling gigs, and it was creating a lot of stress in my life,” Malachi said. He spoke with a gay friend named Carl, a guy who was a former male for male escort turned successful photographer. Carl told Malachi that the “quickest way you can get money is drugs, dancing or escorting and porn.” Malachi had already tried some low-level drug dealing before realizing the risks of jail time far outweighed the financial benefits, and so he started to consider escorting. One thing was certain he didnt want to enter the higher profile world of porn.
The market just wasnt there to be a heterosexual escort, so if he was going to enter the profession; hed have to do it with men. One big problem: Malachis not gay.
“If I was gay, I would be a lesbian, he joked. I didn’t just jump into it. I was going through a lot of emotions mixed with stress and extreme motivation to make something of myself,” Malachi said. So he turned to his friend Carl for advice on what to do.
Carl said that Malachi could probably get by initially offering nude massages to clients, but that some clients would be expecting more.
“Its just a dick,” Carl told Malachi to try and make him comfortable with jerking a guy off. “When you masturbate you’re touching a dick, it’s just another guy’s dick.” Adopting this mentality combined with debt problems and using a substantial amount of pot was enough for Malachi to get over his strong reluctance to doing anything sexual with men.
Carl “coerced me into it and taught me the ropes,” Malachi said, first with a profile on a site called Rentboy on which male escorts can advertise their, well, companionship for sale.
And the name Malachi? He chose it because “I heard it in my dreams, its different and Malachi was a prophet, I guess I feel like Ive got something to say.” A quick Google search confirms the religious background of the name, but the conversation was about gay sex for money and not worship, so the questions went back to his life as an escort.
Through Rentboy, Malachi got several clients for massages, and eventually got raunchier when some of the clients offered more money to perform oral sex on him. “It gave me a weird gut feeling and I couldnt believe I was doing it,” he said. But the financial benefit $ a client was too much to pass up. “While I was working, in my mind I had to just keep saying the amount of money Id make. That got me through it.”
After what he described as a long, rough season of learning and accepting all clientele, including women and lesbian couples, Malachi developed a strategy of taking on submissive non-dominating clients that wouldnt try to force him into doing anything he wasnt comfortable with. “I would only go after the easy clients, that ones that just want to suck my dick or give me a hand-job or a massage. Im kind of spoiled in a way because I can really use my looks and my body” to filter out the more dominant clients that might want to push him beyond his comfort level, he said.
One surprise for Malachi was the high number of straight men with families who would hire him. “I started finding out the truth about people and relationships when I started having sex for money,” he said.
For example, there was the ex-KGB Russian client, a 6 foot 3 inch tall man who would show up to Malachis place with a gun strapped to his belt. “He was a modern day gangster and I kept thinking what the fuck did I get myself into?” But the guy who was married with two children wasnt threatening. He just wanted companionship of various forms.
Other clients were gay, including a male couple in New York who made Malachi their houseboy in Manhattan. That involved hanging around their place, spending time with them and once a day giving erotic massages to the duo. They even took him to the Hamptons out in Long Island for a gay tea party. Thats where Malachi met other potential clients, one who offered to pay him twice what the duo were providing. He politely turned the guy down that night “I was with the couple and I respected them” but he took the mans business card and saw him the following week.
That didnt sit too well with the gay duo from Manhattan, who wanted Malachi to be exclusive to them. “But how do you expect a professional sex worker to be exclusive? Im here to make money and being a houseboy was percent of the time. After a month I couldnt do it anymore. I had no life, no freedom, no girl, I was just bored.” So thats when he switched to one-off meetings with clients.
Malachis escorting got bigger and progressed, and his comfort level with the work increased to the point where he was having full-on sex with men with money. All the time though he saw it as a means to an end, a way to make money to pay off debts.
Then his partner got pregnant and moved in with him. “I told her not to work, I wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom. After she got pregnant I realized I needed to make more money.”
He started scouting around for other ways to bring home cash. Straight porn offered relatively low wages for men, roughly $ for six hours work. But Malachi saw a Craigslist advert from Randy Blue asking for performers to do solo masturbation scenes. He learned that the take-home pay for a few hours of pleasuring himself in front of a camera would be $2, “It was the only way to control my situation with an unplanned pregnancy and stressful debt, and I was already programmed to perform” from escorting.
Malachi performed for a solo video. After it aired, Randy Blue liked what they saw, and offered Malachi $3, for a guy to perform oral sex on him for a video on their site the following month. “They saw lots of money in me and I saw lots of money in them.” So this mutually financially beneficial relationship blossomed, leading into gay porn magazine covers and photo shoots and pushing his earnings into a previously unachievable category.
Being a Randy Blue actor gave him “leverage” as an escort. Now clients werent just going after his looks, they were also paying to enjoy the apparent fantasy of being with a gay porn star. From a few hundred dollars per session, Malachi was now able to charge much higher prices including $2, for an overnight stay or $1, for an out-visit.
The money was good and he certainly hustled. But there was one thought that returned. “There were times where I asked myself, am I gay? Is this just something that Im using as an excuse? And I spent a lot of time exploring that in my mind,” he said.
This was in the thick of his career when he was making close to $25, a month, filming scenes for Randy Blue and hitting five major cities in a week to see clients all over the country (and sometimes the world). Thats a lot of sex. “So I explored if I could actually get turned on by a guy. I tried. But I couldnt. The curiosity was answered and I knew I was heterosexual,” he said.
“I appreciate guys, I appreciate male camaraderie. I know what to appreciate out of males but I have no desire to have sex with them for pleasure. Ive never done anything gay if I haven’t been paid for it. I put on a game face, a facade, a character, and I make money” being gay for pay, he added.
I asked Malachi how much longer he intends to stay in the gay for pay world, especially with the money being so bountiful. “Its great money and a fast lifestyle if your mind and body can handle it. But Ill be so glad to get out of it,” he said.
Malachi wants to make enough money to start some non-porn businesses, and when he hits that fiscal goal hes gone. In the meantime, hes writing a book telling stories about the highs and lows and twists and turns of being a sex worker. And there are stories.
For example, there was a Middle East oil prince who offered Malachi $50, to be a personal assistant for a three month period. Hed have a paid car and be completely taken care of. Good deal, right? Well, Malachi thought there was something a little off about it. From escorting, hed developed a wide range of contacts so he asked one of his clients for a second opinion. The client read over the princes e-mails and warned him that it was an attempt to trap Malachi in a sex slavery ring, in which royalty from another country ensnares someone for a year or two or potentially forever.
Malachi suspected what might happen if he went with the prince, so he devised a plan. The princes assistant picked him up one day in Los Angeles and they went out to Beverly Hills for suit shopping on Rodeo Drive. The assistant even gave Malachi $8, in cash, stuffed inside an envelope. He was meant to meet the prince after that for dinner, but the assistant said there had been a last-minute change of plan and that theyd have to drive straight to the airport and fly out to the Middle East.
This is where Malachis plan kicked in. The car doors were locked, so he asked the driver to wind down the window so he could have a cigarette. The driver complied and the car rolled along toward the airport. Then it stopped at a red light. Not wasting a second, Malachi stuffed the envelope of cash in his pants, threw the burning cigarette on the assistants lap, jumped out the window, and ran.
He kept on running. He could hear tires screeching on the pavement as the driver frantically tried to turn around and catch the runaway sex worker. Malachi rushed to find a hiding spot, climbing a hotel stairwell and staying out of sight on the buildings rooftop for three hours, shaking with adrenaline and fear. Eventually he thought it would be safe to take a peek to see if the princes men were gone. They were. After deleting his email account and changing phone numbers Malachi gratefully realized he got away from what he said was one of the most dangerous escort situations he faced.
That story might make it into his book, which is still in the works although he originally intended to have the book out by December last year after announcing his retirement from the gay porn and escorting world one month earlier. But problems ensued. Writing the book was much harder than he anticipated, and money woes meant he had to step back in front of the camera in January. After that, he once again announced his retirement and was focused on finishing off the book.
Thats when he found out his partner was pregnant again. So money and other needs pulled him back into the escorting and gay porn industry, just as they first got him into it.
Malachi has apparently received some criticism for claiming he “retired” from Randy Blue and the escorting life once or twice before in the past few months. And he notes there is frustration from people who had pre-paid for his book expecting to have read it by now. Malachi is fine with giving refunds to anyone who asks him for one and there have been two such requests but he said most of the people who have paid are willing to wait a little longer, and he wants to deliver.
“I should have waited to announce it later on, I shouldnt have got so excited about it. But I know theres a fun story to write, and it is coming.” Hes fixated on finishing the book by September for two reasons; one, its a contractual deadline to have it out by then, and two more importantly for Malachi “itll be a healing process for myself to get it all out there.”
Given his general dislike for the work that he does and his declarations of quitting, he acknowledged that it looks odd to retire and return, retire and return. But he said each time he finds himself back in front of the camera its because of bills to pay and the need for a quick and easy funding source. Its never because of boredom or a desire to be adored by gay men, he said.
Instead, its just a job for Malachi, who never treated his life in the gay porn world as that of an artistic statement or creative endeavor, and instead looked on it strictly as work.
“Money turns me on, and life without it is off,” he said.
To his critics, Malachi has a simple response. “Fuck yourself.” His more elaborate response, “Everyone has a background, everyone has had problems and everyone has bills to pay.
“For every one that has some debate or that dislikes me there are that like me. People ask me, How can you be straight? You can. Its just like anybody who worked a job they didn’t enjoy. Its like being a laborer. I was not a laborer in my mind when I was working construction jobs. I didn’t enjoy it. Who enjoys 10 hours of construction in the blistering heat and you’re burned out? I did gay for pay for money. It pays a heck of a lot more and it’s a job. I can program myself to do a j-o-b, especially in these hard economic times.”
Malachi filmed his most recent scene for Randy Blue earlier in July, and he says this one will really be his last for them barring the need for more funds.
He said it was stressful getting back in front of the camera, surrounded by blinding fluorescent lights while getting it on with another man. “It was difficult. Theres this intense heat from the lights shining on you, and four crew people are watching you, and its stop-go, stop-go. I had the biggest headache and I came home and I threw up. It fucked me up.”
For Malachi, the experience brought back the lowest points about being gay for pay. “There were times when Id come home sick, I didn’t know who I was.” He said he managed to clear his thoughts up and stay focused by concentrating on the money hed make from a client or video. During those sessions, hed mentally fixate on the various girlfriends he had (which his partner allowed and had often participated with) and earnings in order to get through it.
Still, he had some positive experiences from his career, meeting people from all walks of life and professions and learning a lot about being a businessman because many of his clients were self-made millionaires. “It was so beneficial to listen to their successes and mistakes,” he said.
Now hes focused on getting the book out the way and putting the gay for pay world behind him for good and not as another temporary retirement.
Hes been offered thousands of dollars from a well-known porn producer (not Randy Blue) to do a scene, and an even more substantial sum to do a video that would involve urinating on guys. Apparently that pays well. But not well enough to keep him doing it forever. Hes ready to get out, ready to finish his book and be done with the world of gay for pay. From the start, he made a conscious decision to make an “extreme separation” between his home life and his work life. He also devoted a lot of his time to his family whenever he was off-camera or not with a client.
“A lot of guys that get into gay for pay dont have an outlet like a family, and they get off on people really liking them and/or they have a vice or addiction they need to fund, but you need to have a plan of action,” he said. “Youre going to hit 40 and your sexy looks won’t sell. You have an expiration date.”
Malachi is keenly aware that the sex industry is superficial and that once his book is done and hes permanently retired, people will soon forget him. “In a few years nobody is going to know who I am. There will be a fresh face, a new great looking guy, a new kid in town. Yeah, there will still be Malachi videos, but that will be in the past. Nobody will know where I am or what Im doing.”
What about his family? Suppose one day the Marx children are browsing the Internet and stumble upon information that leads them to discover what they dad did for work?
He sought advice from other escorts and porn actors on how to prevent his children from finding out, and one of those tips was to make a clear separation between his home and work. Even so, most of Malachis family knows what he does even if theyre not too comfortable with it. And if his children find out, he said its kismet and he will explain that he did it as a way to make money for them. “If it happens, its supposed to happen, I love them so much and thats why I do everything I do” he said.
It was time to wrap things up. I thanked Malachi for the interview and said goodbye to his partner, who had since returned. As I was leaving Malachi told me one of his favorite phrases, “Money comes easily and frequently.” It seems like being gay for pay brings money frequently, but not necessarily easily. Still, it appears that the lucrative side wins out.
“Sex sells, thats the truth,” Malachi said.
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